Resolutions: Catalysts for Growth or Recipe for Burnout

Welcome 2026! Whether 2025 brought happiness, grief, a fresh start, or an overwhelming emotional load, we have officially walked (or crawled) into the new year. 

While this moment can feel like a breath of fresh air, one common trend inevitably presents itself: New Year's resolutions. Promises to “do better”, “be better”, or become the “best version” of ourselves is a delightfully tempting pursuit, full of good intentions, hope, and self-love… or so it seems. 

When considering the concept of “self-love”, society often portrays it as indulgent pampering, unrestricted acceptance, and unconditional validation; leaving little room for fault, shortcomings, or flaws. This lens simply sounds like perfectionism rebranded, not genuine compassion.

When exploring examples of true love, whether in one’s personal circle (i.e. family, romantic partners, close friendships) or through ones outside of ourselves (i.e. pop culture, literature, religious/spiritual figures), genuine love is not a denial of our human frailties. Rather, it gently acknowledges them, followed by radical acceptance, and a deep understanding of their impact. By that definition, self-love cannot include turning a blind eye to the parts of ourselves which evoke shame, embarrassment, or even disgust; it must include them, too. 

Therefore, as you consider potential resolutions for the new year, it may be helpful to ask yourself some questions: 

• Is starting that workout plan coming from a place of honoring your body, or avoidance of the emotional experience you have when looking in the mirror?  

• Is the goal of reading a book a month rooted in exploration and expansion, or shrouded in screen time shame? 

• Is the idea of eliminating debt a wise financial move that allows you freedom, or is it another rung on the ladder of success promising emotional stability, yet has yet to deliver? 

When our resolutions are built on a foundation of self-criticism, avoidance of our darker sides, or a fantasy of what the result will feel like, we entrap ourselves. Research consistently shows that behavior modification (i.e. changing the way we act, our patterns of behaving, or routines), is not an overnight process. We would be foolish to think that somehow waking up on January 1st changes the way we see ourselves, think about ourselves, and feel about ourselves; and those internal processes are exactly what drives sustainable and lasting behavior change. Denying this reality only leads to a pattern of destruction: setting an impossible goal, inevitably falling off track, and plummeting into a state of perceived failure, exacerbating our already fragile self-image. 

Furthermore, this perpetuates a common cognitive distortion (that is, a way of thinking that is habitual, but ultimately flawed, causing a skewed perception and emotional distress) of “all or nothing thinking”. This distortion takes a viewpoint of all good or all bad, no inbetween; not allowing for nuance, humanity, or shades of grey. When insincere self-love is intermixed with the trap of new years resolutions, it is so easy to convince ourselves that we are either perfection incarnate and superior or completely lazy and worthless

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My invitation this New Year season is to consider that this is not the only way of being. We can turn towards all elements of who we are, engaging with open arms and warmth, rather than clenched fists and rejection. We can acknowledge the impact of our imperfections without swinging into self-condemnation. We can move into this new year with authenticity, vulnerability, and a whole lot of courage. 

From there, goal setting takes on a new face, embodying less instant transformation, and more gentle adjustment. Less about self-control, and more about self-support. Less about proving our worth, and more about caring for it. 

If this concept resonates, we’d love to hear from you, and how you’re approaching the new year - feel free to share in the comments below. 

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Madison (Madi) is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Registered Play Therapist, and EMDRIA Certified Therapist, who specializes in helping young clients and clinicians navigate their emotional landscapes with creativity and resilience.  Madi’s unique and engaging trainings leave participants with not only new education, but an invigorated zest for the challenging work of therapy. 

Madi enjoys exploring epic narratives highlighting personal values inspired by the themes of overcoming adversity and discovering inner strength. Madi brings a sense of wonder and imagination into therapeutic work, believing that everyone has the potential to rise to the challenges they face. Whether through the quiet determination of a reluctant hero or the power of friendship and support, Madi helps children and clinicians tap into their own resilience, supporting them on their unique journeys of growth and healing.