People Need People - The Value of Healthy Interdependence

Parents are often given the message that fostering independence and self-reliance in their children is the key to raising successful, capable adults, prepared for life’s challenges. But could this intense focus on independence be missing a vital lesson? Perhaps we should be nurturing something more profound—the ability to connect, be in community, and know how and when to reach out to others.

The reality is that no one thrives in isolation. True strength and resilience doesn’t lie in doing everything alone; it lies in knowing how to seek support, collaborate, and work together for the benefit of all. Rather than encouraging kids to be entirely self-sufficient, why not focus on teaching them the importance of healthy interdependence—learning to connect and give and receive support in meaningful ways?

The Myth of the Lone Hero

Our culture often glorifies the lone hero—the self-made success story, the individual who pulls themselves up without help. But when we look closer, even the strongest heroes don’t succeed alone. Harry had Hermione and Ron. Frodo had Sam. Every great achievement, every moment of growth, happens in the context of relationships. True strength isn’t about standing alone—it’s about knowing when to lean in and when to lift others up.

People Need People

Poet and activist Benjamin Zephaniah captures this beautifully in his award-winning picture book People Need People. His words remind us that connection isn’t a weakness; it’s a fundamental part of being human. We need people to celebrate with, to comfort us, to teach us, and to challenge us. When children grow up knowing how to seek help, how to collaborate, and how to build strong relationships, they don’t just become capable—they become deeply resilient.

Raising Interdependent Children

So how do we help children develop healthy interdependence? (By the way, this shouldn’t be confused with codependence, a topic we can dive into another day!):

1. Model Asking for Help: Children learn from what they see. When adults openly ask for help—whether it’s seeking advice, asking others to collaborate to achieve a goal, or admitting when they don’t have all the answers and turning to others for knowledge and wisdom—it normalizes interdependence.

2. Encourage Teamwork Over Competition: Collaboration teaches kids that success isn’t about doing everything alone, but about working together. Shared problem-solving and even working together on simple household tasks can foster this mindset.

3. Validate Their Need for Connection: Instead of pushing children to “be big” and handle everything alone, we can affirm that it’s okay to need others. Phrases like “I love that you asked for help” or “It’s great that you shared your feelings” reinforce that connection is a strength, not a weakness.

Stronger Together

Independence has its place, but life isn’t meant to be navigated alone. Teaching children to value interdependence—knowing how to ask for help, offer support, and build meaningful connections—prepares them not just for success, but for a life rich with connection and community.

Because in the end, people really do need people.

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A self-described geek, Maria Laquerre-Diego is a CEO and Owner who is committed to increasing access to mental health services and breaking down the stigma surrounding therapy services. As a therapist turned CEO, Maria has developed a unique perspective when it comes to mental health and the barriers surrounding mental health treatment. Influenced by her time at New Mexico State University in the Family and Consumer Science department, and University of New Hampshire’s Marriage and Family Therapy department, Maria has turned her dedication to giving back and supporting future generations of therapists. In addition to supporting mental health providers, Maria takes an active role in addressing the continued stigma of mental health services through the use of pop culture – everything from movies and television shows to superheroes and Disney characters. Maria has spoken about mental health at several local events, has served as an officer on professional boards and has provided training to clinicians all over the country while maintaining her and her family’s roots as Aggies! Outside of the office, Maria can be found spending time with her family and loved ones, exploring the world through travel, and creating cosplays for herself, her husband and their two little ones. Maria is always happy to talk about Star Wars, Marvel and mental health and can be contacted through her practice website www.anewhopetc.org