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Helping children navigate big emotions: Lessons from My Neighbor Totoro

My Neighbor Totoro, the Japanese classic anime film written by Miyazaki and brought to life by Studio Ghibli, and now available on Netflix, offers a profound glimpse into the emotional worlds of children experiencing significant life changes, and providing timeless lessons for families everywhere.


In the story, young sisters Satsuki and Mei move to the countryside while their mother is in hospital recovering from an unnamed illness. Their new life is full of excitement and wonder but also uncertainty, worry, and sadness. For these two little girls, these emotions feel overwhelming and difficult to manage as they try to make sense of it all.


The mother in my neighbor Totoro in hospital with her 2 children standing next to her.

The film immerses us in the emotional turmoil of the children and the deep feelings running through the entire family as they try to navigate their situation. Through moments of vulnerability, such as Satsuki’s attempt to stay strong while carrying her fears, or Mei running off in search of the hospital but becoming lost and looking frightened and terribly alone, the story allows us to feel the weight of their experiences. The film gently reminds us that behind impulsive actions or signs of withdrawal often lies a child grappling with overwhelming emotions— their way of communicating; “I’m feeling things I don’t have the words for, and they feel too big for me to cope with.”


The importance of being with 

Totoro, a lovable imagined forest spirit, magically turns up when the girls feel most alone and provides comfort when their feelings become too big to manage. He doesn’t fix their problems or tell them what to do. Instead, he serves as a quiet, comforting presence being alongside them during their most vulnerable moments. 


In one of the film’s most memorable scenes, Totoro stands silently with the sisters at a bus stop on a rainy night while they anxiously await their father’s return. Nothing is said, but everything is felt. This quiet moment of connection is a powerful reminder of what children often need: not solutions, but the calming presence of someone who helps them feel safe and supported. 


Satusuki standing at a bus stop in the pouring rain standing under a red umbrella with her young sister asleep on her back, with a large creature Totoro standing next to her also with an umbrella.

Parents and caregivers can play this vital role by being present and patient, allowing your children to express themselves in their own time and way. By being alongside them without judgment, you reassure your child that their feelings are valid and that they’re not alone in facing them. Sit with them during difficult moments and offer gentle reassurance. Moreover, the film doesn’t shy away from showing sadness, fear, or joy as natural parts of life. Let your child know it’s okay to feel any emotion—all feelings all have a purpose.


Respecting Children’s Imaginative Worlds

Much like Mei and Satsuki, children often express and work through their emotions through play and imagination. Creating space for children’s most natural language - the language of play - provides a key tool to help children process their inner worlds and outer realities. 

When Mei tells her father about meeting Totoro, she describes him in vivid detail, from his soft fur to his enormous size. Instead of dismissing her story as childish nonsense, her father listens attentively and validates her experience. He says, “You probably met the king of this forest. You were very lucky. This response shows that he respects her imaginative world, making her feel heard and understood. The film also reminds us through Totoro’s magical adventures that joy and curiosity also coexist with challenging emotions and help balance children’s emotional worlds. 


A scene from My Neighbor Totoro with Totoro watching with an umbrella while the children jump up and down joyfully on the grass in the night.

Mei and Satsuki’s father helpfully does not squash their play but gives respectful and tender space for this. He is able to enter into their imaginative worlds and is also ready to help ground them when their vivid imaginations feel frightening, such as when they become terrified having seen what they think are swarms of black insects in the house. He calmly explains, “When you walk into a dark room from outside your eyes dim and the dust bunnies come out” which allows them to move out of fear and back into exploratory play, “Oh I see. Come out, dust bunnies!”. 


Seeking Support to harness the powers of play

The delicate dance of supporting a child’s play is a role that play therapists are highly qualified to do to support children as well as their families. As parents, it’s fair to say that children’s imaginative play can at times feel disorientating, and knowing what would be most supportive to do (or not do) can feel unclear. At A New Hope Therapy Center, we do not expect parents to instinctively know how to go about supporting children’s play, nor is perfection required (thankfully!). 


Like Totoro, we strive to be a supportive presence, helping children and their families navigate life’s big emotions, and leveraging the enriching powers of play. If your child or family is struggling in the face of challenging life events or you’d like to support your child in their imaginative play better, we’re here to help——just contact us to connect.

 

A self-described geek, Maria Laquerre-Diego is a CEO and Owner who is committed to increasing access to mental health services and breaking down the stigma surrounding therapy services. As a therapist turned CEO, Maria has developed a unique perspective when it comes to mental health and the barriers surrounding mental health treatment. Influenced by her time at New Mexico State University in the Family and Consumer Science department, and University of New Hampshire’s Marriage and Family Therapy department, Maria has turned her dedication to giving back and supporting future generations of therapists. In addition to supporting mental health providers, Maria takes an active role in addressing the continued stigma of mental health services through the use of pop culture – everything from movies and television shows to superheroes and Disney characters. Maria has spoken about mental health at several local events, has served as an officer on professional boards and has provided training to clinicians all over the country while maintaining her and her family’s roots as Aggies! Outside of the office, Maria can be found spending time with her family and loved ones, exploring the world through travel, and creating cosplays for herself, her husband and their two little ones. Maria is always happy to talk about Star Wars, Marvel and mental health and can be contacted through her practice website www.anewhopetc.org

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